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Asleep To My Own Magic

by Nicole Zell

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1.
Asleep 01:04
If it scares you, run towards it every time . . . You're asleep, you're asleep to your own magic You're asleep, you're asleep to your own magic You're asleep, you're asleep to your own magic Your own magic, your own magic All that happened this past week, I had to go through in order for my throat chakra to be open so that I could sing these songs the way they needed to be sung. Like, so that my voice could actually be heard . . . You're asleep, you're asleep to your own magic You're asleep, you're asleep to your own magic You're asleep, you're asleep to your own magic Your own magic, your own magic I just feel lighter . . .
2.
7 Years 04:16
[Verse 1] I remember watching it kill him No return after going all in And I vowed to never make the same mistake I'd evaluate my position Around the age of 27 Now it's time for me to fold, to bend and break See I have spent way too long living Under other people's opinion Asleep to my own magic, but now awake So I'll go back to the beginning Where I left my younger self waiting For permission that was always mine to take [Chorus] Going back won't be easy To face the girl I used to be Going back won't be easy But I gotta find her to find me [Verse 2] Yeah the industry it's a killer It'll make you cynical and bitter When you chase fame and fortune You have nothing in the end And society’s getting sicker Our entirety reduced to filter If I just get one more like, one more mention Maybe it could make me like myself again Oh I just want to like myself again [Chorus] Going back won't be easy To face the girl I used to be Going back won't be easy But I gotta find her to find me [Bridge] 7 years already Holding it all in Cause I believed what somebody Told me then Don't speak, just look pretty Take advice from men Make it when you're twenty Don't be a has-been [Chorus] Going back won't be easy To face the girl I used to be Going back won't be easy But I gotta find her to find me [Outro] 7 years already Holding it all in Cause I believed what somebody Told me then 7 years already Holding it all in But you better get ready Cause now I'm back again
3.
Garden 03:50
[Verse 1] My garden is dead And so is my plan That I made up in my head When you were my man Of a life we could build and till and tend had it not been pretend My trust is broken And so is my heart Like a wilting flower Left to die in the dark You took me by the hand for a walk in the park But I was misled [Chorus] I thought you would catch me Or I wouldn’t have let myself fall We fit so perfectly Thought we were in it for the long haul Damn, we really had it all Damn, we really had, we had it all [Verse 2] My ego is hurt And so is my pride Lower than the dirt In the ground outside Bury my body in a box beside The hopes I held too high [Chorus] I thought you would catch me Or I wouldn’t have let myself fall We fit so perfectly Thought we were in it for the long haul Damn, we really had it all Damn, we really had, we had it all [Bridge] Our lives are so intertwined I don’t know how to move on And not think of your face when I play that Bob Marley song You should've known what you had before you let it go wrong Go wrong, go wrong And what am I supposed to do with all this hate in my head? If you hadn’t fucked up so bad it would still be love instead And who's gonna fill your spot on the side of the bed When you’re gone, you’re gone? And what the hell do I tell our friends and family? Wish I could make up a lie just like you did to me Cause it’s humiliating to tell the true story Of it all, it all We had it all Ooooh We had it all Ooooh We had it all Oooh ooh We had it all We had it all We had it all (My garden is dead And so is my plan That I made up in my head When you were my man Of a life we could build and till and tend had it not been) We had it all Ooooh We had it all Ooooh We had it all Oooh ooh We had it all We had it all We had it all [Chorus] I thought you would catch me Or I wouldn’t have let myself fall You’ll never find another like me So down and willing for the long haul Damn, you really had it all Damn, you really had, you had it all
4.
Cycle 03:54
[Verse 1] My therapist is telling me all this crazy shit It's impossible to win with a narcissist All this time thought I was outta my mind but I was just gaslit I'll end up the same if I don't get away from it [Chorus] You don’t heal the trauma if you don’t face it You carry it on to the next generation You gotta end the cycle, you gotta break it I gotta break it [Verse 2] Every Sunday in church I would hear them preach Screaming from the pulpit Jesus saved me Then where the fuck was he when I was just a kid? Letting my innocence be stolen by hypocrites [Pre-Chorus] And I know that what you did to me is what was done to you before Part of my fate was predetermined before I was even born I can feel it my bloodline, that's what I was put here for [Chorus] You don’t heal the trauma if you don’t face it You carry it on to the next generation You gotta end the cycle, you gotta break it I gotta break it [Verse 3] I’m nowhere near perfect, no I’m not trying to claim it Just doing this self work to heal my broken brain and Trying to find my peace, get sleep, breathe, stay hydrated Remind myself I’m strong enough, enough to face it [Chorus] I won't heal the trauma if you don’t face it I'll carry it on to the next generation I gotta end the cycle, I gotta break it I gotta break it You don’t heal the trauma if you don’t face it You carry it on to the next generation You gotta end the cycle, you gotta break it I gotta break it I gotta break it, I gotta break it I gotta break it yeah, I gotta break it
5.
Dangerous 03:17
[Verse 1] I didn't ask for any of this But I just keep thinking ‘bout your kiss That you left on my cheek that warm summer night When we were hotter than the heat wave outside I didn't ask for any of this But you read my mind like it's effortless And you draw on my pages unapologetically Like you enjoy interrupting my story [Chorus] I'm scared to admit what I feel Cause all of it is too damn real The most dangerous thing I've known is you Is you [Verse 2] You didn't ask for any of this For me to show up and just wreck your life like this It's like history repeating itself But I don't wanna make the same mistakes I made a promise to myself [Chorus] I'm scared to admit what I feel Cause all of it is too damn real The most dangerous thing I've known is you Cause all you do is look my way I'm ready to throw it all away The most dangerous thing I've known is you [Bridge] I can't stop what I'm trying to prevent Cause you made a mark on me that's permanent I can't stop what I'm trying to prevent Cause you made a mark on me that's permanent [Verse 3] Maybe I asked for a little of this And quite frankly if I'm being honest I want more than just your kiss [Chorus] I'm scared to admit what I feel Cause all of it is too damn real The most dangerous thing I've known is you Cause all you do is look my way I'm ready to throw it all away The most dangerous thing I've known is you Is you
6.
Infinite 03:14
[Verse 1] For that one night we were infinite Couldn't let ourselves get too intimate Cause she's waiting for you on the other line But I wish you could just admit it Cause I'm can’t keep incurring karmic debt I need to get myself off this ride [Chorus] I got nothing to show for it But at least one night we were infinite Nothing to show for it [Verse 2] These days I'm on the Internet Looking up soulmates, twin flames and shit Cause I need to make sense of it in my mind So down on my knees I get To pray to a god that I reject Cause maybe he has the answer this time [Chorus] I got nothing to show for it But at least one night we were infinite Nothing to show for it [Verse 3] What’s the point in collecting souls If they sit forgotten in glass bowls Displayed on a shelf with nothing to show for? I'm afraid I'll never find the one, That it’s a myth created by someone And love is just a revolving door [Chorus] I got nothing to show for it But at least one night we were infinite Nothing to show for it [Instrumental Break] [Chorus] Nothing to show for it But at least one night we were infinite Nothing to show for it We were infinite We were infinite
7.
Magic 04:02
[Chorus] I let everyone silence me and take away my power Capture lightning in a bottle, lock the princess in a tower All these cosmic connections I thought were true love turned tragic All I needed was within cause I am, I am the magic [Verse 1] A wise man once told me I always compromise Never seeing my worth, the first to sacrifice my vision To minimize my intuition [Pre-Chorus] I can't put off who I need to become [Chorus] I let everyone silence me and take away my power Capture lightning in a bottle, lock the princess in a tower All these cosmic connections I thought were true love turned tragic All I needed was within cause I am, I am the magic [Verse 2] The psychic said I was Electrified White light shining out Of my third eye Guarded by a bear My inner child waiting there [Pre-Chorus] Showing me who I need to become [Chorus] I let everyone silence me and take away my power Capture lightning in a bottle, lock the princess in a tower All these cosmic connections I thought were true love turned tragic All I needed was within cause I am, I am the magic I am, I am the magic I am, I am the magic I am, I am the magic [Affirmation Outro] I am safe I am loved I am healing I am light I am safe I am loved I am healing Cause I am, I am the magic

about

After years of not releasing her own music, Nicole Zell found her voice again on her empowering debut solo album, Asleep To My Own Magic. Undoubtedly Zell's most mature, enlightened work yet, the album addresses some of her most vulnerable life experiences: not believing in herself as an artist while navigating the highs and lows of the music industry, deconstructing her belief system after growing up in the church, confronting child abuse she experienced as a young girl, breaking generational cycles, healing from toxic relationships, and ultimately, finding her own magic. In 2023, it won Album of the Year at the 17th Annual Hometown Heroes Homey Awards.

To everyone who generously donated to the album fund, thank you from the bottom of my heart for making this possible. This album is ours.

-Nicole

credits

released November 11, 2022

Nicole Zell:
Composer, Primary Artist, Co-Producer, Vocals, Guitar

Rod Pires:
Composer, Recording Engineer, Producer, Programming, Mixing Engineer, Vocals, Bass, Guitar (Electric), Drums, Percussion, Electric Piano, Keyboards

Marcus Fogle:
Studio Assistant

Tom Conran:
Co-Recording Engineer, Co-Mixing Engineer

Tim Ferguson:
Group Vocals Recording Engineer

Alexandra March, Lauren Kuhne, Nikki DiGiorgio, & Rob Perna:
Group Vocals

Randy Merrill:
Mastering

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about

Nicole Zell

Born to a musical family in rural Pennsylvania, Nicole Zell grew up writing songs, teaching herself instruments, and performing live from an early age. After touring nationally with American Wolves, fronting THRILLCHASER, and receiving notoriety from Billboard, Fuse TV, TODAY with Hoda and Jenna, and more, Nicole found her voice again on empowering debut solo album, Asleep To My Own Magic. ... more

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